Psychology of relationships when a woman is older than a man. If a woman is older than a man: nuances in building relationships

Increasingly, there are couples where the woman is much older than the man.

Much is for 10-20 years.

Women over 40 very often write about the attention of young men to them, but they are skeptical about this attention. “It’s clear that he is looking for a mother for himself” or “does not want to invest, wants to be given everything at once.” That is, adult women often perceive themselves as a dubious object and see a non-sexual motive in the interest of young men, a desire to save energy and money. It's pretty embarrassing. And for the women themselves, and for young men who quite often fall in love with adult women.

However, sometimes relationships do start. But they end quickly. And if they do not end, women most often quickly go into the red. And men take off in plus. With older men, it doesn't happen as fast and it doesn't have to. What are the reasons?

The main and main reason that adult women quickly go into the red with young men is that women, even adults, do not have the skill to build relationships from a leadership role at all. Even on equal terms it turns out with great difficulty (in Europe it is already better). Basically, women are used to building relationships from below. They are guarded and they are led. A little girl or not a little.

The girl needs a dad. Even if it's her husband, he should be a bit of a father to her. And if a man is older than a woman and more status, the father's role is quite organic for him. This does not mean that he completely subjugates a woman, he delegates a lot to her, but the main word is his, the main leadership is his, he provides the main guardianship, economically and politically. It's not that a woman is a completely infantile fool and only claps her eyes, they get rid of such women quickly, it's just that a woman sees in a man someone stronger and smarter than herself. This is so far a traditional picture for our latitudes that many women confuse the concepts of "older, more status man" and simply "man", they by default consider any man older and stronger than themselves (intellectually, morally), even if he is younger and smaller yet achieved.

This is a distorted view and leads a woman to a minus when a man is much younger. Please note that if a man is older and wealthier, and a woman looks at him a little from the bottom up, this, on the contrary, evens out the balance. Those who think that all people should always and in all situations communicate on an equal footing, regardless of any differences, are just as smart as those who want to take everything away from everyone and share it.

Speaking on equal terms with someone who is much more experienced than you is like talking about poetry with a philologist or about history with a historian, demanding equality of opinion. If you try to speak on an equal footing, the dialogue will not work out, and if you are aware of their great competence, you can get a useful conversation, and for both sides, since the specialist is also interested in a fresh, uncomplicated, unbanal look, but only if the interlocutor is aware of the difference and does not consider that "my grandmother said" is equivalent to "Academician Losev believed", both are interesting, but are integrated in different ways.

The same is true outside the professional sphere. If you are older, you have more experience in everyday life and in relationships, you have more material and social resources, your role in the politics and economy of the couple should be leading, the main one.

Approximately the same demotivation occurs in a couple where a woman is much older than a man, but behaves with him like a peer or even much younger than him.

Interestingly, this does not start right away. At first, while a woman is not too in love, she behaves normally, according to her age and social position. She is aware that in front of her is a younger and less experienced being, possibly talented, charming and full of energy, but still less competent in everyday life and in the sphere of social relations. He remembers that behind her are various age stages, she was a student, and a specialist, and a boss, and a mother. small child and the mother of a big one, had a long-term serious relationship, experienced breakups, divorces, losses, and he has a mentality young man. Even if a man has a crown and he is convinced that at the age of 25 he is different from his peers, because he is much smarter, even if he is a sexist and thinks that a woman’s experience is not like a man’s and a woman at 45 remains the same girl, he is everything Equally, at the beginning of the relationship, he is aware that in front of him is a lady of his mother's age and reflects this. He does not feel equal, although he may strive for equality SZ, that is, he hopes to be important and significant for this woman.

Equality and the height of the NW is correct, it is a balance. But if a woman paired with a young man does not take a leadership role, she loses her balance and goes into the red. More precisely, it can go into default. The main thing is that a man in such a pair always goes to the plus, because he ceases to respect such a woman, even if he does not admit to himself.

I already wrote that adult women often speak to their young partners in childish voices, they give them funny children's nicknames, like a frog, a duckling or a pig. Such women are certainly called Anyutka, Katyushka, Marishka and Manyurka. That is, even in couples with peers, there is not as much derogation in addressing women as in couples where the woman is 20 years older. When I tried to deal with this phenomenon and asked those women, one and all stated that their young men just really want to dominate, young men so desperately rush to the top, strive to look older and more serious and do not want to deprive them of such joy.

It is with boys that adult women turn into old girls, both externally and in essence, while with older men they behave appropriately for their age. It is understandable. With older men, even at their forties they feel young compared to his fifty (if a man is not a lover of young girls, but is satisfied with the difference of ten years), and with a boy they want to look younger than he is, and if he is thirty, that's it. almost grown-up women claim that he looks forty, and she looks thirty-five at forty-five, that is, five years younger than him. That's how many complex digital perturbations go on in a woman's head just to hide the difference. Paradox?

Initially, a young guy falls in love with an adult lady. He likes that she is older, he likes her look from above, her seriousness or philosophical irony, security, not helplessness, he likes everything about her, including wrinkles that make her face more mature, and an authoritative tone, everything that emphasizes their difference he really likes it. Otherwise he wouldn't fall in love. If he wanted a peer, he would have looked for a peer. If he wanted to dominate, he would look for an inexperienced young girl. Most young men, having gone into plus, tell their women that they actually want a girl of the same age and fell in love with her quite by accident. Yes, it looks like a plus. It seems to them that it was an accident, and now they already want a peer, because they are disappointed in adult women who behave like fools or hysterics. But initially it was different. He fell in love, of course, not by chance, it was much easier for him to have an affair with a peer, but he chose an older woman.

And then she began to hide their difference, deciding that they had fallen in love with her. despite age. Here main reason inappropriate behavior of such women. They despise their peers. They think that their peers are worse than young ones. They consider themselves exceptions (!), thanks to the crown, of course. She is always the exception. Yes, she is forty-five, but she is 1) beautiful 2) sexy, so she is an exception to the rule. And her peers are purses, they cannot be of interest to a young man, and she does not want to have anything to do with them. She stands out from their row (the key here is that she stands out from any row, always, the crown makes in any group, even in age, even in gender, even in professional, feel better than the same).

And an adult woman begins to prove to everyone around that she looks younger than her man. Talk to these women, they will almost always say that their boyfriend looks older than them, especially when he is already in the black. These women consider themselves exceptions, that's the problem. If they were ordinary, normal adult women, they would behave like that, they would not be ashamed of their age, they would not try to stand out from a number of their peers, they would look adequate and everything would be fine. But they see the young man's attention as fodder for their own (!) self-esteem, instead of understanding that he just likes her age group. But phew, this is so sad, you can’t gild the crown with this.

Noticing that his woman wants to feel like a girl, the guy tries to give her such an opportunity. He begins to dominate and call her a pig, he wants to emphasize that for him she is a baby. Well, the more she is a baby, the more noticeable her gray hair and wrinkles, by the way. For her forties, she looks great, but for eighteen ... understandable. That is, women, trying to level out age, emphasize it and highlight it, as those who want to hide a big nose under naive curls make their nose several times larger.

The main rule of harmony: create an organic context for quality, don't hide it, don't forget it.

Accept age misalliance and find advantages in it, emphasize it and do not be shy.

An organic context for adult appearance is adult behavior. No childish voices, short skirts, helpless wave of eyelashes, no "father loves his girl?" which grown ladies love to say to their young husbands. (I still remember one lady who was 60+ and she used exactly these words to address her young lover).

If you don't know, you probably won't believe that this is exactly what many older women say. Especially predators in this sense are indicative. After some time of relationship, an adult lady turns into a child with a predator. She did not turn with her older husband, but with a young predator - yes. The predator differs from just a young man in that they fall in love with him, on average, more strongly. And the older the woman in love, the more she turns into a little girl. For non-predators, the same thing happens if the woman is much older and in love.

In general, I would like to say the following. If your man is younger (plus or minus 5 years is the same age), never forget about the difference and don’t try to hide it, emphasize so that you don’t notice it, be proud of the difference, love your age, don’t pretend to be a girl, don't turn him into an old man. Otherwise, soon you will begin complexes and fall into the red.

And young men wanted to say. Don't play daddies out of yourself, please don't call your adult women Manyushkas and rats, it's better to play the real difference beautifully. You don’t need to call your lady by her first name and patronymic and “you”, though ... But don’t make them at least little fools. They will begin to annoy you yourself when you convince them that you seriously consider them your little ones at their fifty-five years.

Have men had relationships with women 10+ older? Women falling in love with guys much younger? How did the relationship develop?

We consider it normal if the man in the couple is the same age or older than the woman. Even for 15-20 years. But when it comes to relationships where the woman is older, we not only vehemently condemn such relationships, we stigmatize the woman who enters into such a relationship. Moreover, it is women who show particular rage and uncompromisingness: how is it that young girls do not have enough normal men, and here the “old women” step on their heels? Are they right or is it a banal female envy and narrow-mindedness: it should be, as is customary!?

Accepted by whom, why and most importantly - when? Dear supporters of feudal relations, you should accept the fact that the world is changing and relations, as part of this world, also do not stand still. The most optimal model of the relationship between a man and a woman is always being developed, based on the conditions of the present. And this is not a “translation of arrows”, but real facts that cannot be turned away from.

According to experts, the trend towards creating relationships when a woman is older than a man is gaining momentum, and this is not only about famous couples from show business or cinema. According to statistics, every fifth man chooses a woman 10 years older, and every ninth - with an age difference of more than 15 years. And this is not about a short-term romance, but about a full-fledged relationship.

Psychologists and sociologists say that in most cases this is not a tribute to fashion, but a real sign of our time. Everything seems to be clear with a woman, but why does a man need an older woman? Why does she attract him? And why is the number of such couples steadily growing?

The issue of awareness of choice

If we discard the prejudices of post-Soviet upbringing, it turns out that mature women have many advantages, thanks to which men choose them, and not their peers. Moreover, most men make this choice consciously, and not according to the principle: choice without choice. Every normal man is pragmatic and evaluates everything according to the degree of rationality and optimality. And today we are not talking about infantile sissies or gigolos - no. It's about men who have realized the clear benefits of a relationship with a woman older than themselves. True, some men do not realize these benefits immediately, but after some time, being in a relationship with a more mature woman. But these are details. Let's get to the heart of the matter.

Fact Analysis

I am sure that one of the main advantages of an older woman is her sexual emancipation. Adult women are the best mistresses, they, as a rule, are not shy about their desires, because. they know how to fully concentrate on their feelings, they know how to give both themselves and their man real pleasure. A mature woman gives herself to the process entirely, not caring about what is possible and what is not.

What else is attractive in an older woman?

An adult woman attracts a man with her independence. She does not need to be coddled and entertained. She will not make a scene if a man does not call for some reason for a "whole" hour. And this is not only a real saving of time and efforts of a man, and with an almost identical result in the end. And often more interesting. What am I talking about?

It is much more interesting to spend time with an adult woman, communicate, discuss, discuss various topics from politics to joint weekends. Education, awareness, life experience - these traits attract many men.

A smart, independent mature woman will never restrict the freedom of her man. After all, she has her own interesting, eventful life, she does not need to be entertained and entertained all the time - this is a one-way game, and for a serious relationship, investments are needed from both sides. Therefore, it is more comfortable for a man to be in a relationship with an accomplished woman. And although the appearance of a woman is very important for men, nevertheless, for a considerable number of men, interest, independence and trust are more attractive than the elastic muscles of the buttocks or chest.

Why does a man need an older woman? The emotionality of women and especially young girls is legendary. Girls often play real dramas and make scandals, which is called "out of the blue." For example, if a man does not call the day after a date or follows another girl with his eyes. An adult independent woman will not become hysterical or throw a jealousy scene about this, she will be able to maintain her composure in any situation. Even truly critical. Why? Yes, because she has considerable experience in responding to such situations. And then she knows how to distinguish the main from the secondary, so she won’t needlessly wag the nerves of her beloved man. And no one needs unbalanced persons, a man wants to see an adequate woman next to him.

Adult women know the secrets of relationships in a couple, many of them have learned to bypass the traps. They understand where it is necessary to insist on their own opinion, and where it is worth giving in, which cannot be said about young inexperienced women. Adult women have more experience in serious relationships, so it is not difficult for them to find a solution that suits both. In addition, they have significantly fewer illusions about a man, so it is not particularly difficult for them to put up with some of his features of his character or habits. An adequate adult woman has no reason to compete or fight with a man, she clearly understands how important it is to live with a man who is sensitive to your desires and mood.

Another important factor. A girl often does not appreciate a man, taking his care, attention and help for granted. In addition, she likes to attract the attention of other men around. She flirts with them not only to boost her self-esteem, but often to make her man jealous in order to manipulate him. Adequate loving woman first of all, she will think about the feelings of a man, about his ability to trust her, because it was not in vain that he chose her. It is very important for absolutely every man to know that he is the best and the woman is faithful to him. Loyalty is the basis of trust and it is this quality that underlies any happy relationship.

A mature woman, according to female psychology in a relationship, understands herself and her needs well. Therefore, in a relationship with a man, she will not play cat and mouse, but will immediately clearly show that she needs him. Knowing and understanding herself, as well as well distinguishing true values ​​from imaginary ones, an adult woman truly appreciates the time spent with her beloved, and knows how to be grateful to a man, which distinguishes her favorably from a younger woman. Men really appreciate it.

What else gives a man an alliance with a more mature woman? Every smart man is looking for opportunities for development. Not every adult independent woman is the owner of a large business with an influential environment, but she has already achieved something in life, has taken place as a person, has considerable experience, she is pragmatic and active. A smart man will not miss such a chance for his own development. After all, passion weakens after the first, but deep understanding, resonance, intimacy, trust and experience remain and become an elevator that lifts both partners up.

Yes, it is worth recognizing that not only normal adequate men are drawn to mature women, but also oversized infantiles stuck in childhood, gigolos of all stripes and simply insecure personalities. But what can such a man offer an adult, independent smart woman? Therefore, it is unlikely that he will linger for a long time next to her.

Favorite topic - the difference in the age of a man and a woman

First of all, it is a matter of accepting your age and yourself. It doesn't matter what others say about you, but what you think about yourself. To be able to accept your age means to find beauty, joy, interest, depth, clarity, advantages in it. This is not easy, but not impossible for a person with intelligence.

Living with a man younger than yourself means not only trying to be in good physical shape, taking care of yourself, giving Special attention their appearance and emotions. First of all, it means being able and able to maintain its rhythm of life, and in every sense: physical movement, thought process, development as a person, etc. This is, first of all, her ease of uplift, energy, desire for change.

What definitely not to do

You should not turn into a "mommy" for your beloved, who constantly educates him, just as you should not become his "daughter", lisp with him, calling him by all means diminutive nicknames. This is a sin of many women and not only of Balzac age, who have a relationship with a man much younger than themselves.

If you have chosen such a relationship, then you need a clear balance: not a “mommy” and not a “daughter”, but an adult smart woman.

The second factor. Don't do something "in his name". This is a dead end with all the consequences - expectations, grievances, claims and other ballast crap.

And finally the third. Don't fixate on competitors. Always keep your eyes on yourself and compare yourself to yourself yesterday. And do not forget that activity, vigor, creativity, versatile interests and ease of climbing really attract men at any age.

Love to you and a strong serious relationship!

True love knows no boundaries and obstacles. A flap of Cupid's wings, arrows in two hearts, and the deed is done - a man and a woman are in love. But let's put aside romantic ideas about love and look at the essence of the matter in terms of dry statistics. Passion, love, fire in the eyes and languid sighs - all this passes with time. And there are quite "mundane" factors that affect the strength of relationships - for example, the age difference between partners. We will figure out with experts whether there is an ideal age interval at all that guarantees a strong, harmonious relationship between a man and a woman.

In the majority of created families, the man is 3 years older than the woman. This trend is observed in all countries of the world. And this is easy to explain - subconsciously a person is looking for an “equal” both in terms of social status and intellectual development. And here age plays a big role - life experience is gained, wisdom comes, worldview changes.

With each successive marriage, a man seeks a younger wife. “Gray hair - demon in the rib” - the saying clearly works. With age, there is a desire to see a “fresher” woman next to him.

But believe me, those unions where one of the partners is much older or younger than their chosen one are not uncommon today. And what will you think if you see such a couple - an overgrown man and a young girl? Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is that an “unequal” marriage has no prospects, because it is built only on mercantile interests. And the statistics are relentless - unions where the age difference is too large break up much more often than those where the age of the spouses is not so noticeable. But love is love - there are pleasant exceptions!

Ideal formula: is there an optimal age difference?

Psychologists believe that the optimal age difference between a man and a woman to create a strong family is 5-6 years. At the same time, the “classic” of marriage is the situation when it is the spouse who is older.

A difference of 5-6 years is ideal in terms of the psycho-emotional development of the spouses. It turns out that he and she are on the same level - both have already gained life experience, there are relationships behind them, their decision to start a family is considered, there is a material base. All this is at least some guarantee of a long-term relationship. Sociological studies show that such couples have more children.

The Chinese sages came up with their own formula for an acceptable age difference between spouses. We take a calculator. The ideal bride is selected according to such mathematical calculations - the man's age is divided by 2, and 7 is added to the result. For example, if a man is 30 years old, then his chosen one should be 22 years old. Pay attention - with such calculations it turns out that the older the man, the younger his "ideal" woman. East is a delicate matter.

Marriages between the same age - a classic in Soviet times. No wonder - in those years it was considered “right” for everyone to be equal, and the slightest deviations from the “norms” caused criticism among those around them. The outstanding difference between a man and a woman was not welcomed - either in personal or in social life. That is why the age of the spouses was approximately the same - it was accepted that way.

Marriages between peers tend to be early marriages. More often, young people get to know each other in high school or at the institute, and then decide to start a family. "Equal" unions have a lot of advantages: common interests and friends, a similar lifestyle and life values. It turns out that he and she are on an equal footing and at an equal speed dragging luggage family life.

But spouses of the same age cannot do without problems - they can quickly get bored with each other. If the marriage is early, problems will certainly arise against the backdrop of a lack of finances. The couple does not have a more experienced partner who is ready to extinguish storms in a relationship - and this threatens with rash acts, squabbles, betrayals.

Statistics show that in a family where spouses are of the same age, betrayal occurs more often - especially if the marriage was concluded too early. There are several reasons - one of the partners is looking for support and consolation on the side, as well as banal curiosity due to insufficient sexual experience.

A man is older than his life partner - a classic of love relationships. But it is one thing when the difference is not very noticeable (3-5 years), and quite another when the misalliance is striking.

Mature men looking for young wives are quite understandable. She is not burdened with children, which reduces the "financial investment" in family life. She does not have much experience in sexual relations- you can test yourself in the role of "teacher". And a young body is more pleasant to hug. But men do not always pursue “mercantile goals” - love still wins more often.

For 10-15 years

Society is tolerant of marriages where the husband is 10-15 years older than his wife - stereotypes no longer rule. And relationships can be quite strong!

The man has already managed to build a career, does not depend on the opinions of his friends and relatives in relation to his personal life. He approaches the creation of a family responsibly - without unnecessary emotions, with an understanding of female psychology, without stupid mistakes. Paired with such a difference in age, there are few quarrels - the spouse has experience in relationships, he is tolerant of the shortcomings of the second half and is able to resolve emerging conflicts without unnecessary losses. The woman in the couple is also quite happy - the chosen one fully supports her, there is a material basis for self-development, "mature" pleasure in bed.

For 20 years or more

Several centuries ago, the situation when girls were given in marriage to someone who was suitable for her father was the norm. Now it only causes condemnation of the society. Only when looking at such a pair, the thought immediately arises that this is a calculation. Well, how can a young lady live with an elderly man? What is love?

In fact, such a union can be “convenient” for both her and him - a woman admires an experienced partner who knows life, and a man enjoys a cheerful laughter and seems to be fueled by her energy, trying on the role of a guardian.

But here it is important to understand that some 10-15 years of marriage - and a man with a slight gray hair at the temples will turn into an old man. And the spouse will still be in full bloom - there is a risk of betrayal. A girl should leave her dreams of 3-4 children in the family - the years take their toll, and with the lifestyle of many men, the chances of conception decrease. And it's not just about physiology - by the age of 40, a man probably already has children from previous marriages. Should he carry a few more children on his elderly shoulders?

Scientists have come to the conclusion that marriages, where there is such a big difference in age, can shorten the life of both spouses. And all because of the stress experienced by a man and a woman - after all, they live among human gossip and gossip, public condemnation. And this negatively affects the state of health! On the other hand, a man living with a young wife suddenly begins to get younger - he seems to “drink” her youth. But a woman, on the contrary, quickly fades - subconsciously she tries to match the age of the chosen one.

It has always been believed that when a woman is older in a couple, this is not normal. Even now, in times of free morals, this often causes the condemnation of society. And very in vain - statistics show that such marriages are quite strong.

If a woman is 5-7 years older than her chosen one, such a difference is almost imperceptible - especially when both partners are over 30 years old. The couple can be called ideal - the spouses walk hand in hand along the path of family life. A woman is somewhat wiser, she has experience - she gently guides her husband to great accomplishments. Strong union! In addition, in order to match her young spouse, a woman is “younger” - she takes care of herself, follows the rules healthy lifestyle life. Both are satisfied.

And what tests will the couple have to overcome if the woman is much older than her chosen one?

For 10 years

Such marriages are rare. And this is easy to explain - most men at any age are looking for partners younger than themselves. Nothing can be done, this is nature - the "male" proves to himself personally and to the whole world that he is "hoo" and can conquer the youngest and sexiest. Aging ladies, of course, do not cause a stir among young guys.

Many couples, where a woman is 10-15 years older than a man, manage to build a harmonious love relationship. Some men are quite satisfied with the role of a slave in a couple - they admire a more mature woman, listen to her advice. A woman feels needed and loved.

But problems cannot be avoided. The wife often becomes overly suspicious, jealous and suspicious - there are many young rivals around who can take the chosen one away. No wonder this is a cause for concern. And with age, it becomes more and more difficult to mask wrinkles - you can’t get away from nature. Either a man puts up with the “shortcomings” of a woman, loving her immensely, or sooner or later he goes in search of a younger wife.

For 20 years and more

Every woman wants to feel attractive and desirable. This is what drives a lady when she finds a partner much younger than herself. Such a couple is a vivid example of the mother-son relationship. A woman takes care of a young man, often provides him financially.

A mature, interesting lady is quite capable of turning the head of a young guy. But such an alliance will obviously not be long - a man, having gained experience (to a greater extent - sexual), will soon go to the same age. And if a young gentleman lingers in the arms of an aging madam, then most likely it is either an Oedipus complex or a mercenary interest. Naturally, neither one nor the other will contribute to a happy, strong union.

The optimal age difference between lovers is a very subjective concept. And in each case, you can find both advantages and disadvantages. Take them as a warning possible problems in a relationship, not as a clear guide to choosing a partner. Let's not forget about the power of love, which all ages are submissive!

Where did this maxim come from: only the age difference in favor of the husband is good for marriage? Most likely, such an arrangement of age differences is dictated by the instinct of procreation. After all, it is peculiar to a person in the same way as to the rest of the representatives of all life on Earth.

Therefore, if a man is younger than a woman by more than two or three years, society looks at such relationships as an anomaly. But in fact, are marriages really doomed and meaningless, in which there is a more or less large age difference with a bias towards the wife?

• Wife older than husband by 3-8 years

Statistics claim that, which is no more than 7-8 years older than him, can be quite long-term. Much here depends on how they are both realized in life, whether there is a big difference between them in their views and attitudes towards various aspects of life together, whether they look at family values ​​the same way.

There is a risk, of course, to build a “mother-son” relationship, but this also happens in couples with an age difference in the direction of a man. By the way, psychologists assure that such unions, as well as relationships of the “father-daughter” type, are the most durable.

An example of a successful marriage in which the wife is no more than 8 years older than her husband is Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. The difference between them is measured in six years. And yet, they have been together for a quarter of a century. And this, you see, is a deadline. True, their relationship remained officially unregistered. But, as Russell admits: Why seal a marriage that is already strong?

• If a woman is older than a man by 9-15 years

In this category, there are also many examples of fairly long alliances. Larisa Dolina and Ilya Spitsyn (13 years old), Irina and Sergey Bezrukov (9 years old), Nonna Grishaeva and Alexander Nesterov (12 years old), Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee Furness (13 years old). Surely, among your friends, you will also find at least one example of a happy family with such a difference in age. Well, this confirms that all ages are submissive to love. And a woman, regardless of the number of years she has lived, can, provided that she is confident in her attractiveness.

However, psychologists warn: unions in which there is a large age difference with a preponderance towards the wife break up more often than usual. The Czech psychotherapist Miroslav Pzlak spent ten years studying the lives of three hundred families in which the woman is 10 years or more older than the man.

By the end of the observation, only 70 couples kept their relationship, the rest lasted much less. Similar data was obtained by another researcher of such marriages, American Michelle Davis. Of the 250 unions she observed, in which the wife is 10-18 years older than her husband, after 10 years only 37 couples retained their relationship. According to psychotherapist A. Poleev, if a man is younger than a woman by a sufficiently large number of years, then he can get a positive experience from these relationships. But they should last no more than 3-4 years. Otherwise, there may be distrust, questions about it, and frustration.

• If a man is younger than a woman by 16-20 years or more

Society condemns such marriages most severely. And yet, their number tends to steadily increase. This interesting phenomenon began to be studied by both psychotherapists and sexologists. It turned out that the reasons why people with such a big age difference unite in the direction of a woman are not so small.

Similar sexual needs, mutually beneficial personal relationships (both have something to give each other), the ability to realize some of their complexes. There are examples of happy unions in this group. But they are few enough. And they, rather being an exception, confirm the rule: a family is still created for the birth of children, therefore couples that are initially deprived of the opportunity to fulfill their natural destiny are most often doomed to decay.

And yet, for love, there are no boundaries, and the rules are not subject to it. If a woman knows and wants it, she can keep her husband's love. In addition, unions in which there are sincere mutual feelings and a desire to give will not be hindered by any restrictions. However, every couple has their own

The norm accepted in society implies that a man should be older than a woman. But it is not uncommon for a girl to be older than a guy. What to do in this case? Is it worth worrying about this?

The girl is older than the guy: pros and cons

Very often, having met a girl and finding out that she is older, the guys end such an acquaintance, and it never develops into something more. But the reason for this is men's fears and prejudices.

But from a relationship with an older girl, you can learn a lot of useful things and, in the end, just gain useful experience.

Pros of a relationship between a guy and a girl who is older:

A man can learn a lot, from how to kiss better to how a girl can help with her studies;

The older the girl, the less capricious she is and does not require much attention to herself, she is self-sufficient;

If an older girl really likes you, she will always find time for a date.

But there are plenty of disadvantages in such relations:

The girl may not be accepted by the boyfriend's friends or parents;

They may not have the same interests and hobbies;

The guy may not live up to the expectations of the girl, since he has not yet reached the level at which the girl is.

As for the opinions of others, it should not be taken into account. If in your relationship the girl turned out to be older than the guy, first of all, you need to calm down and remember the phrase "All ages are submissive to love." When you feel good together, relationships should be protected, especially from different stereotypes. Love does not depend on the numbers in the passport.

If in a relationship a girl is older than a guy, she should not be allowed to point out the difference in age, otherwise this will lead to quarrels and irritation. Make sure you don't develop an inferiority complex.

You do not need to constantly prove to your girlfriend that you are better, more beautiful, more successful. If she chose you, then she likes you the way you are. But this does not mean at all that you do not need to develop and improve yourself - you need to do this only for yourself, but not as proof of love for the girl.

Be prepared for the fact that you can leave. Any relationship ends sooner or later. There are a lot of reasons, but you should not tune in to a long and happy life with a girl until you are one hundred percent sure of her. Moreover, building relationships in life with a girl who is older is much more difficult than with your same age.

And, of course, you should feel like the master of the situation, not beg for attention and affection. In this regard, a relationship with a girl older than a guy does not mean that you, as the youngest, should be drawn to her more than she is to you. This is purely a matter of feelings, not age.

Many people consider a couple to be absolutely normal, where the man is older than his girlfriend, even by several decades. Nevertheless, society treats such a difference in age differently. Some people think that such a relationship is doomed. So what to do in this case, what to do if the girl is older.

A girl is older than a guy: how to build relationships

When a girl is older than a guy, this will stimulate her to take better care of herself, dress in fashionable clothes and shoes, do rejuvenation procedures, give up all bad habits, and go in for sports. Every woman understands that you need to be a match for a young man, otherwise he can simply be taken away.

Being in a relationship with a more mature woman, it is easier for a man to succeed in life, since his chosen one is dominated by life experience, she is more serious and wiser in many matters than him.

Psychologically, the female sex begins to mature earlier than the male, because in order to continue the human race, nature endowed women with moral stability and mental invulnerability.

We can safely say that a woman as an evolutionary species is stronger than a man. Only having a strong woman next to him, a man truly becomes courageous.

Women are more involved in the upbringing of boys from birth, and most men have a maternal instinct. First, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, etc. do it. After - educators, teachers. Therefore, a man at the subconscious level is tuned to a relationship with a more mature woman.

Usually, only with age does an understanding of the true purpose come to women. In their youth, many girls live in an atmosphere of entertainment, but as they age, they are increasingly drawn to family life.

A mature woman is very responsible for the process of planning and raising children, she better monitors the comfort in the house, she shows herself better in the kitchen. Over the years, a woman will be able to organize comfort and coziness for her lover.

highest sexual compatibility expects a couple where the man is younger. It has long been known that the peak of sexual activity in women occurs after 30 years, and in men - after 20. Therefore, partners will be able to receive maximum sexual satisfaction.

So what if the girl is older? The answer is obvious - to live and enjoy life. Many unions where the girl is older than the guy will lead to happy and long family relationships.

He is still studying, walking with friends, and you are already working, trying to grow in your career and you are not up to night walks under the moonlight and romantic absenteeism on working days. However, you found something in each other. It happens that a man is attracted to women who are smarter and more experienced.

In this case, they refuse night parties and are ready to wait for you at home from work. They try to learn a lot from you. However, it often feels like you are a prototype of his mother, from whom he is simply gaining experience.

And this is not very pleasant to realize in a relationship when a girl is older than a guy. Complexes instantly arise that you are old, boring and uninteresting. In such constant nervous tension, you can really earn yourself premature wrinkles.

This should be easier to deal with. Such relationships rarely last long, but once you have chosen each other, then enjoy. Perhaps you will not withstand the onslaught of your oppressive thoughts, or he will want to come off with all his might in his youth.

Then you will simply part with good friends. If a girl is older than a guy, then this does not mean that he is stupid or too selfish due to your age. Appreciate that he likes you. So at 25, you can still pass for a 20-year-old without trying too hard.